Summers' Southern Sagas

Another episode from the Elgin Wildlife Refuge....or at least that's what it seems like. Last week we had a wicked thunderstorm one evening, of course right at bedtime, so the boys ended up taking over my bed. Our next animal encounter was this howling Boxer scratching the hell out of the front door begging to get in away from the storm. Rodney wants to bring it INSIDE. Hello......we don't even let our dog in past the garage for more than 10 minutes, but sure, why not bring this scratching, whining mongrel in to tear up the house/bite/etc...? He said it had a collar. Anyway, it ended up running away at the next lightning flash.

That's pretty mellow compared to the newest creature....Mister Snake. This particular day was a nice and sunny afternoon, about 95 degrees and Rodney starts hollering about something near the woods. I think cooter?????? (See post below). This time it is a snake. I know Rodney is not fond of snakes and spiders for that matter. He claims it is huge, anaconda sized in length. I'm thinking a piddly little garden snake I used to run over with my bike as a kid.

Well, apparently the first thing Southerners do is try to shoot the snake. So out comes some type of pistol thing from next door. The second thing to do is light a giant bonfire and
smoke out/ignite the snake so it runs from its lair.



What is being torched is a bunch of brush and leftover wood at the edge of the woods. In the excitement of hunt, the gun is jammed up, doesn't load right and the bullet ROLLS BY THE FIRE! The kids are screaming from the deck to please let them help destroy the snake and Rodney is scrambling around trying to find a bullet before it blows up the woods or some one's head. Meanwhile brush fire continues to burn in the direction of the LAWN MOWER. So I get to have my first ride on the riding lawn mower as I start it and steer it away from the blaze.

Third step in killing snakes involves a large shovel. Since Rodney doesn't care for snakes, but he will kill it, I stand on the edge of the fuming pit and hurl javelin like sticks in the middle of the brush. This should stir up ole' snakey. Lo and behold he sprints out toward the only other shelter which is this little thrown together bridge we have. Needless to say Rodney tore it all apart in a matter of seconds and the shovel ends the life of poor snake. Well, sort of.....



Fourth step...drag snake out into the yard and everyone stare at it to see if it still moving due to it still being able to truly function or because of some "tic".



Finally...let kids "pet" the dead snake and hope it counts as extra credit for doing some summer science lessons. Of course this must be done shirtless.



***Please realize my kids aren't always barefoot and shirtless. In fact when we first moved in and had a hail storm with lightning and tornado warnings (at bedtime again of course), I got out of the closet and went upstairs to get clothes for the kids because I didn't want to be the Southern ones on TV. You know, the ones you see after a tornado tore apart the town and their kids are running around in their underwear in the background.

If you want to know when I update, I've included a link to put in your e-mail and it should notify you when I update.

Next week......Back to School- This should be good considering I went up to work today wearing my shirt inside out and with a big pink marker stain in the middle of it (without knowing of course)

First of all, thanks if you have managed to come back to our blog. Next, after reading the title of this entry you're probably wondering....what the ?????????

Let me back up a bit. We have finally moved into our new house. In my opinion I live in the middle of nowhere. This coming from me, who grew up in NJ where one town just runs into another town, and into another and another , etc.... When I brought Rodney up to NJ for one of his early visits, he went for a run. When he came back and explained where he ran, he was amazed when I told him he almost ran through 3 towns (small towns that is).

Anyway, now I worry a bit if he goes and decides to run for fear some nutcase in a beat up ole' pick-up truck may run him over and leave him for dead on the side of the road. Well, what else would run through my mind one rainy afternoon as I look out the window and see 2 parked cars. One blocking the end of my driveway and another a little farther back. There is a man and a woman in the road. They keep running around in circles and take turns diving into the ditch across the street.. It's woods. It's in the middle of nowhere. What a great place to dump a body and then truck on out of there. They walk back to the car blocking the driveway, mess around with the trunk, and shut it.

Rodney makes his way home from my in-laws next door. I tell him to go see what the deal is. And bring a bat.....or at least an umbrella in case he has to beat someone with it.... He goes out talks with the people and the trunk flies open. The man fumbles around and heaves this large object on the grass. The man and woman hop in their cars and hurriedly turn around and go back the way they came.Rodney walks over to the object, pokes it with his foot and comes back towards the house.

I'm as blind as a bat so I have no idea what is on the lawn. He comes back with a huge smile on his face and the story goes like this........

Me: "Should I call the cops?"

Rodney: "I asked them what they were doing. If they needed some kind of help or something. They said, Nah.., we were just trying to get this here cooter we saw in the road. We were gonna make some cooter stew. Ya ever have that? They make the best kind of eatin."

You're not alone if you think "cooter" is some type of obscenity. When I first heard the term, I thought so too. The first time I heard it, it came out f Rodney's grandmother's mouth as we passed a sign for a "Cooter Festival" on the way to Georgia. A "cooter" is a southern term for a turtle. What else did you think it was?

Me: "What did they throw on the ground?"

Rodney: " The turtle. The man said he forgot the recipe so he better throw it back out."

OMG.....is this a third world country where the economy is THAT bad that we're down to eating turtles!!!!!

Me: "Where is it now?"

Rodney: "It waddled into the creek. Hey, go get the kids so they can see it."

So, here go my kids with umbrellas and barefeet to go find the turtle in the creek. By the time they got there it was gone.

*************************
A week ago we had our driveway concreted. Rodney went out to talk with some of the workers and what did they ask......"Hey, do you have any of those Alligator Cooters around? They make some good eatin."

Only in the South.

If you have a minute, leave me a comment. Do you like this site so far, should I have just kept the Caringbridge? Let me know!

Tina

Let me introduce our clan. I am Tina, a 36 year old insane feeling mom to 2 boys, Vance (8) and Bryce (6). My husband Rodney leaves me to be a football coach's widow from late April through December. He's a good guy though! Finally is our new chewy-pooing 7 week old bull-mastif named Bluebell, which was named by an e-mail survey that we sent to our family and friends. (Sorry Rodney, you lose again!)
This blog is intended to carry over from Bryce's Caringbridge site, which you can still access for now. Bryce was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia at 27 months old, and knock on wood, throw salt over your shoulder, etc.... he has remained cancer free since going completely off his 3 1/2 year treatment which ended last June. I am originally from NJ and since college have transplanted myself in South Carolina where I met my better half. We have lived at the beach, then Columbia, SC and now are livin' a true Southern life in the little town of rural Elgin next to my in-laws (no I'm not insane, we get along just fine!). So for now until I get the hang of this blogging thing, check back soon. If you care, Bryce's site is www.caringbridge.org/sc/brycesummers
I will update it only 1 last time in the near future. I hope to continue with our family's wacko adventures that seem to happen on a continuous basis. First entry will be.... Is that a dead body or a "Cooter" ?