Saturday, May 29, 2010

PostHeaderIcon Saturday Night ER Visits

Yeah, yeah, whatever....I know it has been awhile, again. Don't hold it against me. It has been a week since we made a unexpected visit to the ER in Columbia. It all started when I pulled up to a bloodbath.

I leave the kids with Rodney. Rodney is doing typical manly things like mowing the lawn, cutting weeds, etc...The boys are playing a typical match of WWE on the trampoline and I am on my way home from the grocery store.

I pull up, and Bryce is being his "sweet" little self, directing me into the garage like an airport traffic director. I turn my head and see Vance's face pressed up against the driver's side window with blood all over his face and hands, crying about how it is all Bryce's fault and now he won't be able to go to Gamestop. I'm all like, "Where the hell is your dad???" Bryce says, "He's weed eating. I didn't tell him. He won't hear me."

Apparently during their wrestling match, Vance's teeth went into Bryce's forehead and one of Vance's teeth also sliced the inside of his lip. Later I find out Bryce went next door to his Nannie's house and she asked if anything was wrong and he told her no. They later told me they didn't want to get in trouble so they weren't telling. How in the world I wouldn't notice the murder scene Vance left in the bathroom, I have no clue, but there was a path to the bathroom, it was splattered all over the mirror and sink, and all over Vance.

After I cleaned up Van and took a better look at he inside of his mouth, I figured he better go to the ER since it was pretty deep and still spurting out blood when it pulled apart at all. So... off we went, the time was 7:30 pm. The following is a TOP 10 THINGS TO EXPECT FROM THE ER ON A SATURDAY EVENING.

10. Be sure your child has charged their DS before leaving b/c when it dies in the first 5 minutes you know it is going to be a long wait.

9. Try not to feel like a moron when after 10 yrs. you still do not remember your child's SS#. On the brighter side, they still had his info from when he last visited in 2001.

8. People will try to look worse off than each other by wearing no shoes, shirts, etc... Some these people weren't even going to be the patient. I was worried that DSS would come after us b/c Vance was so filthy dirty from being in the yard all day that I made him jump in the shower before leaving. HA!

7. When Bobby has hit his head, but continues to run around the ER playing and yelling, and his 7 family members (including 3 children under the age of 4) came to "hang out", you better listen carefully for your name to be called or you'll have to wait longer. This child also ran around the waiting room trying to touch sick little babies and played in the trash can.

8. If you feel the urge, approach the ER check-in staff with the suggestion that a waiting room should have designated area for "Non-contagious injuries" and a "I Don't Know What IsWrong With My Child" section. We sat by a little girl with ice on her ankle. She looked safe.

7. Try to refrain from more seriously injuring your own child when they keep asking you if you could please stop at Gamestop on the way home although it is now 10pm.

6. You can trick your child into thinking you can read Spanish fluently when reading all the signs to them while waiting for the doctor to come in.

5. Brainstorm places to eat at midnight where your child will be able to actually eat the thing they order after getting stitches.

4. Get a kick out of doctor #2 when he tells your kid, "But what is the story you're going to make-up to tell your friends instead of what really happened?"

3. Practice wake-up techniques for when your child falls asleep every 2 minutes wearing your sweatshirt and you're freezing!

2. Don't ask your child if they want stitches or not.

1. Be thankful he only cut his mouth.

Leave at 11:52.

The doctors were great. They even apologized for the long wait. Seriously I expected to wait that long. We didn't have a life threatening injury. He even said summer must have started early b/c he saw 4 lacerations since 7:30. Vance did pretty good getting the stitches in the inside of his lip. I was proud of him, b/c earlier I wanted to kill him for wanting me to stop at Gamestop on the way to the hospital with blood coming out of his mouth.

I'm sure this won't be the last injury this summer.

Bryce just came in to tattle that Vance is in the woods breaking glass bottles with a tennis racket. Great...


About Me

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Tina S.
I am a transplant Yankee mom who moved down to South Cakalacky and married a true Southern boy. A few years ago we have moved to what I consider the "boonies" and now I live in my own private wildlife preserve, or at least it feels like it! The puppy you see is now a full grown beast. Enjoy our tales of livin' in the good ole' South.
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Source of the Sagas

Source of the Sagas
Vance and Bryce